Wednesday, August 30, 2006
A Photographic History of Modern Mountain Men
The life of the mountain man is not an easy one. While roaming the uncharted terrain of the Rocky Mountains in pursuit of beaver pelts, mountain men face such eternal dangers as wild buffalo, bears, and prickly pears that lodge in one’s moccasins. One must remain stoic.
Mountain men eat cornbread and bacon every day. “That sounds great!” you might say. But even cornbread and bacon can get old. Especially when your only source of cooking fuel is buffalo poop.
You see the fine beaver hat this mountain man is sporting? This beaver hat spelled the end of the mountain man as we knew them. As beavers grew scarce due to over-trapping, the beaver hat became less popular among the hat-wearing public. Apparently, the 19th century had not yet learned the law of supply and demand in Econ 101.
The mountain men’s loss of livelihood forced them to evaluate alternative means of employment…
…in the sordid underworld of the entertainment industry.
While some mountain men took to this new occupation, others mourned the loss of their former grizzled glory.
Who could have predicted that the son of famed mountain man Liver-Eating Johnson would have been reduced to such dire circumstances?
And yet, these dark ages in mountain man history created fodder for later anthropological studies. Dr. McSweeney of the Center for Mountain Man Rehabilitation detected several traces of traditional mountain man activity within the mountain man dance moves. In this photo, the mountain man demonstrates the proper method for dislodging sand-burrs from one’s moccasin.
And here we see how one dislodges sand-burrs using the buddy method.
Mountain men are honorable folk who care for their own. Observe how the mountain man on the right supports his ill companion on the left…
…before gently lowering him into a grave dug with an axe and a frying pan, as is customary among mountain men. The poignantly choreographed dance captured in this archival photo (note the sepia tone) became a huge hit in Spain.
Mountain men are known to have hunted and trapped in brigades. In this dance move, we can see how the mountain men hunted: one man facing forward to spot the beavers, his partner facing backwards to watch for charging buffalo.
This photo captures a particularly popular dance move among mountain men: The Worm (etymology unknown). Originally a pantomime of a successful hunt (the mountain man bludgeons his prey into submission, snapping his fingers at a job well done, while the mountain man on the ground mimics a beaver convulsing in death throes), this move has achieved crossover fame in raves, dancehalls, and other unsavory watering holes.
A baffling composition to the untrained eye. In this photo, we see the mountain men performing a dance re-enacting a buffalo hunt. The two mountain men on the right comprise the buffalo, while the mountain man on the left acts out the role of the conquering hunter. Mountain men secured their kill by grabbing the buffalo by its snout and directing a debilitating kick to the buffalo’s knees. Doing so causes the buffalo to fall, whereupon it becomes victim to the scalpin’ knife.
After the stark brutality of the previous dance, all the mountain men gather around to perform a celebratory jig. Mountain men are happiest after a successful buffalo hunt, as it often heralds an end to weeks of a boiled corn diet.
Another jubilant dance is the “Going to the Trading Post.” After a month or two of collecting beaver pelts in the wilderness, the mountain men head to the trading post to exchange their goods for socks, whiskey, and other necessities. This move has since been bastardized into the directionless Conga line.
The mountain men break down the aforementioned buffalo hunt dance into a sequence of minute movements, demonstrating how to slay a buffalo: Lift your right foot…
…and kick it in the knee.
A variant of the “Going to the Trading Post” dance: in the first move, the mountain men hoist one of their own, a stand-in for the beaver pelt being offered to the trading post.
In return for the beaver pelt, the mountain men request a barrel of whiskey of roughly this circumference.
The closing dance move of the mountain man’s revue is a farewell dance. The jazz hands wave goodbye to civilization as the mountain men prepare to return to their semi-virgin wilderness.
This daguerreotype is an old poster for the touring Mountain Man Revue. The revue was a hit in all 18 states and 7 territories of the nascent United States, although the mountain men were banned in the Republic of Texas for lewd behavior.
The mountain men’s biggest fan.For verification of these half-truths, visit the Library of Western Fur Trade Historical Source Documents to read first-hand accounts written by real, live mountain men.
